You feel exposed, lost after death of a spouse. You want to isolate from people, yearn for solitude, focus on past memories.
family make you realise we carry people we love with us everywhere. The love is priceless somehow poignant, surreal it opens my eyes as indeed you would. Yet, the pain from grieving is insurmountable - you can never be strong enough - I can't even pretend
so won't say I have tried.
You also learn to ignore bizzare behaviour from people who think they can take advantage of your vulnerability. Widowhood is a new status I am still navigating, so won't let go of wifehood
Then the wives club are threatened by their husband's innocuous and genuine kindness towards you. They probably view such generosity with disdain, dogged and dutiful air!
divine providence is my source of comfort one that I am still struggling to re-adjust myself, get by, live by, navigate slowly. Further fit of optimism is that your immeasurable love is all I need to keep me going.